Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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GONNA

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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