A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference........ between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Rob Bell

thumb_up thumb_down +94

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops