so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

When is a joke funny? When you read it.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

whats red white and blue? i dont know

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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