When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops