A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Baseball

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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minorities

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops