Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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This joke isnt funny.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Dear John,

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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