Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Dan O'Driscoll

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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69

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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