What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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A Jew returns change.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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marble

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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69

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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