Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

I won the game.

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

your moms so fat she has kankles

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

Freedom of Speech

knock knock whos there .. derp

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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