Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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