What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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