A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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