Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

What's the difference between a duck?

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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