5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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