Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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