Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops