What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops