What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops