Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops