- Anti Joke

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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