A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Who is big and stupid My brother

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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