I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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