You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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I have a horse.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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