Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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YOU

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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