What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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meatspin.fr

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops