What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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