question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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