Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

jews

Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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