Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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A man died.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops