what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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24

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A whole 'nother.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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