how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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