Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

guess what>? your mum lol

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

HELLO BENJAMIN HELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMINHELLO BENJAMIN

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops