Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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