What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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