Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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