How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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