what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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