Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Fine, ladies first.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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