Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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I'm rick james bitch

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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