Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Atheism

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

Bob Saget

are u black unlucky

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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