in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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123 f*ck off

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops