What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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I enjoy Popcorn

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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