can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

Knock knock, COME IN!

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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