What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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