Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops