Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

LeBron in the fourth quarter

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops