Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops