Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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