Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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My children are mistakes

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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