so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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