What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops