Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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