What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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2

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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One day a man walked into a wall

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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