What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

i committed murder

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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