There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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