How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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