Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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